Tuesday, November 27, 2012

For the past five months, I have been a wreck. Every month or so I have a major freakout about life - anxiety rolls in, doubt overtakes my heart, and the most important things to me seem breakable. And the thought that I could hide my soul's discomfort was a joke - many times at work, my wonderful friends would ask me if I were okay to which I replied, "I'm just tired." when really my soul was crying out for God to deliver me from whatever hurricane was going on in my heart.

This happened again this weekend and I finally had it. After a couple of days I have realized (thanks to God) that I have placed my heart, being, happiness, etc. into all the wrong places and people and it has truly shattered a lot of good things - as it should. God has been so merciful in my painful realization. I asked a couple of my closest friends to pray about what's going on and to let me know what they feel the Lord is saying while they pray. Last night I got a text message from one of them and it said this:

"When I was praying for you tonight I heard the word 'go' over and over. I don't know where you are supposed to go, but that's what I heard, maybe you know. I'll keep praying and keep letting you know." 

Go. At first I thought this meant that I needed to let go of something or that it was part of some unknown phrase. But my heart is believing more and more that "go" meant to go to Him - to stop running and putting my worth in everything but Him. 

Go I shall. 

I am taking a two week sabbatical from the things I have put my worth in - things that have kept me from running and pouring my heart into Christ. When I come home the TV isn't turning on - it will just be me and Christ. The goal is to learn how to be completely content in Christ alone - no matter what He is calling me to do. 

I started this tonight and I cannot explain how much lighter I feel. I haven't felt this excited or this happy in months - and it's only been one night! 

I'm excited to see what God reveals to me during these two weeks - questions will be answered, a content heart will be renewed, and my burden will be light. This I know for He says to expect great things. 

During this time, I am using my deceased grandfather's Bible. As I was reading tonight, I saw notes Granddaddy had taken and it literally brought tears to my eyes. Everything he bracketed or starred related directly to his character. He was truly after God's own heart. 


  1. Oh, Liz. I love you. And the part about Granddaddy's Bible brought tears to my eyes. So much love to you these next few weeks...

  2. Me, too, Liz. Tears when I saw the picture of his Bible. He wasn't vocal about his faith at all, but certainly lived it quietly.
    I am praying for you as you seek contentment, and His peace, which really does exceed our understanding!
    I need another Panera date soon! Hugs, Mom

  3. Sweetie....thank you for sharing your heart...I'll also be praying that our Lord will revel His will for your life and for your future...He is always present when we have concerns, doubts, questions...and He always answers. My window calendar's message for today reads "The Lord requires from us everything we have. He died to give us all things new, and that can only happen when He gets from us all things old"...I'll pray that He will guide you in doing just that.

    Much love,

  4. Hey girl - I'm nominating you for a Liebster Award