His will, my plan?

If I'm being honest, this week has been really hard for me. I have gone back and forth praying and trying to figure out what God's will is for my life. When you know that Christ gives you tremendous freedom in your choices, sometimes a plan is the only thing you really want. And as a planner, I am begging for some type of answer. Trying to figure out whether or not you're being blind to the truth or being given a fierce desire from Christ is terrifying and exhausting - His will for my life has become incredibly foggy. Sometimes I wish I could get a simple text message from God telling me what to do. A simple "yes" or "no" would be most welcome. Can I get an "amen!"?

So, the one thing that I've learned this week is that God won't tell you anything or won't direct you until you are ready. This can be extremely painful, frustrating, and more than anything else, exhausting. Time seems like eternity.

Even though I have been bogged down by the weight of a decision this week, I have enjoyed sleeping in and crossing things off my adventure list. Lets take a look:

On Tuesday, I drove to Denton with Mom and picked up my cap and gown. I can't believe I only have 6 more weeks of student teaching. Where did the time go? Hopefully, I'll have job offers by then too - keep your fingers crossed! After eating lunch with my wonderful friend Camille Ayoub, Mom and I drove back to Dallas to pick up Lucy. What a joy she is!

...and she's only getting cuter! 

I am a blessed aunt!

On Wednesday, Mom and I went to Grandmommy's to see The Descendants in her theater. This was certainly an experience. I'll just say this: old people cannot whisper and have no filters. Overall, Grandmommy was glad to see us and I had fun spending time with her. 

Me: Grandmommy, how are you? 

GM: Well, I'm just as beautiful as ever! 

Agreed. 

I also got a haircut on Wednesday. It's a little short for my taste, but everyone has said nothing but compliments so I think I just need to get over it and embrace my short hair. 

Before... (sorry it's so dark!)

After!

Friday night, I spent time with my wonderful friend Natalie Frederick. I just need to say one thing about Natalie: she is a breath of fresh air. You know those friends that care for you so much that they will be completely honest with you about anything? Natalie is that friend. We had a lot of good conversations over dinner before we went to see The Vow (really good by the way) and it was refreshing to ask hard questions to someone I love and trust. I thank God Natalie was brought into my life.

Love her. 

Saturday afternoon Marcos and I went to the shooting range. Let's be honest, shooting a pistol is intimidating but really fun once you get the hang of it. A riffle, however, is terrifying. Marcos, being the beast he is, is an awesome rifleman - which makes sense looking at his past profession. Sadly, Marcos didn't get a picture of me shooting, but we still had fun and I really appreciated Marcos teaching me his mad skills. 

Love Marcos! 

Beast.

After the shooting range, I had fun babysitting Cameron and Alyssa. I love these kiddos - being an aunt brings so much joy to my heart. 

I mean who couldn't love this face? 

Just some girl time :)

 Cameron is one of the sweetest, most patient kids I know (and he's not even 3 yet!) - something he definitely takes after his dad. :)

Mom sent me a quote from Corrie ten Boom this week that has helped me see beyond this foggy moment in my life: 

"There are people who trust the Lord for their eternal salvation but not for the worries of every day. They do not see that our problems are the material God intends to use to build a miracle." 

Currently, I'm in the fog but I also know that God intends to use this time to bring me great joy.